A Bad Idea
by Charity Errs
Summary: Sirius has come up with a brilliant plan to help James win Lily's heart. James, however, quickly realizes that it's not so much a brilliant plan as a bad idea. A very, very, dangerous, bad idea.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing... it's actually kinda depressing.

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James fidgeted in his seat.

It was a bad idea. A very, very dangerous, bad idea.

He spied Peter and Remus at their desk at the other end of the room. They weren't a part of it. They were obviously smarter than James. Not at school or magic, in those respects he was just as good, probably better. But they weren't dense enough to agree to Sirius' _brilliant_ plan. James was.

It's not as if he's never done it before, he had on numerous occasions. It's just that lately, she had been angry with him, more so than usual. Why he thought it was a good idea to do this now, when she was already more irritable than usual, was beyond him.

Sirius was already grinning like an idiot next to him, but James was feeling more ill by the second.

He noticed movement in his peripheral vision and chanced a glance to his left. Wrong move. She was already glaring at him. She _knew_ something was up.

Of course, she knew. She always knew. Even when they snot-faced first years she could see right through him. He could never see through her. Everything behind those beautiful emerald orbs was a mystery. Maybe, that's why she was so exciting.

Except when she was angry. When she was angry she was not exciting, she was just scary. Thinking about it, he decided he'd rather face Voldemort and ten death eaters than Lily when she's seriously pissed. Why didn't he think about that before he agreed? He looked again. Yep, still glaring. Still pissed.

The thing was that he didn't know why she was so pissed. The first two months of seventh year had been going so well on the Lily-front. After the initial shock of James being made Head Boy wore off, and after fair amount of cursing and complaining, Lily had actually begun to warm up to him. She had even dropped the immature calling him by his last name thing.

It was a compromise. He stopped hexing people left and right, stopped skiving off classes, stopped copying others' homework, stopped "strutting around Hogwarts like he owned the place", he even stopped asking her out. And she began referring to him as "James" rather than "Potter".

Everything was working out rather well; at this rate she might let him sit with her at meals by Christmas.

But then she got all angry. Not annoyed, but angry. Angry, like she wished James was dead angry. And she hadn't been like that since Valentines of sixth year when he proposed to her at Madam Puddifoot's, while her then boyfriend Amos Diggory was telling her that he loved her for the first time. James didn't know what the big deal was; he used to tell Lily he loved her all the time. He didn't understand why she was so pissed then, and he certainly didn't understand why she was so pissed now.

He hadn't done anything to upset her since last year. Oh sure, he had overheard her going on about some guy she likes to Alice Prewett the other day. Being the slightly jealous gentleman he was, he marched straight past her up to his dormitory without a word. She couldn't be mad at him for that, he hadn't said anything! He didn't even mention it while they were patrolling that night; he hadn't bothered her about it at all. He did exactly what he was supposed to do. James could honestly say that he hadn't done one thing to upset her. Yet.

It was a bad idea.

What was most irritating about it was that he knew it was a bad idea when he agreed. As soon as Sirius swaggered into the dormitories that night James knew. It was the look on his face, the 'I, Sirius Black, am a Complete Genius, What You Hadn't Noticed?' face. The same face that he wore when they stole McGonagall's underwear, and put them on the bulletin board with the sign asking girls to stop leaving their knickers in the Marauders' room. It was also the face that resulted in most of the boys' fun. So while Remus and Peter refused, James agreed wholeheartedly.

It seemed like such a good plan. She had been strangely tolerant of him in the two weeks prior. Why wouldn't she say yes? Of course, they had planned everything before she went all 'psycho-seething-hate-and-glares' on him.

He looked at Sirius.

"Umm Padfoot, I'm not so sure we should do this."

Sirius stared at him. "Are you mental? It's a great idea!"

"No, it's a really bad idea."

"What is a bad idea Potter?"

James nearly peed his pants as Alice Prewett entered the conversation. He stuttered as he looked for an excuse. He caught a glimpse of the scenery outside the window and whispered back, "What's a bad idea? Errr... Climbing a mountain..." He mentally slapped himself. People go mountain climbing all the time.

"Why is climbing a mountain a bad idea?" She was looking at him like he was crazy. He was trying to find a way to respond when Sirius cut in.

"No Alice, you didn't let him finish. Climbing a mountain LION is the bad idea."

He smiled smugly, like he was a genius and nodded at James as if saying "You're welcome." James mentally slapped Sirius. He just made them look like idiots in front of the love of his life's best friend!

"Oh, um right. Great observation, Potter, I guess I won't go mountain lion climbing anymore."

She gave him another glance, as though she really was questioning his sanity, and turned to talk to Rowland Miller.

He exhaled slowly, relieved that she didn't inquiry further.

Sirius nudged him and gestured to his watch. Twelve twenty-one. Four minutes until class was over. Nine minutes until his life was over.

It was a bad idea.

Three more minutes of class.

He was an idiot. She was going to kill him.

Two more minutes.

What was he thinking? He had to stop it. It was a bad idea.

One minute left.

"Professor, I'm not feeling well. I'm going to the Hospital Wing!"

James had jumped up and was collecting his things to leave class. Everyone was staring at him. Professor Binns was more shocked than anyone, mostly because he couldn't remember the last time a student addressed him.

Sirius gave James a bewildered look.

"Oi, Prongs! There's only one minute until class is over. I know you're not good with numbers, but that means only six minutes until – "

He stopped himself before he revealed their plan to the eager ears of their Gryffindor and Hufflepuff classmates.

"Until lunch," he finished lamely.

Lily, unable to hold back her suspicions after that brilliant statement, was about to interrogate the boys, when the bells signaling the end of class chimed. James pushed his materials into his bag and made a beeline for the door. He was down the hall and around the corner before anyone could question him.

He headed toward the Gryffindor Tower. There he would get his invisibility cloak and disappear till everything blew over. At least that was his plan, until he felt a pair of hands grab him from behind and stop him in his tracks.

"Where the bloody hell do you think you're going?"

"I can't go down there Padfoot, she'll kill me."

"You stupid prat. I can't believe you're backing out now. It's not like we can stop it. She'll either say yes, or be pissed whether you're there or not. "

This didn't help with James' anxiety. Regardless of how long he disappeared for she would still try and kill him when he resurfaced. He couldn't win. He was a dead man walking. And it was all thanks to Sirius' bad idea!

"Look, think of it this way. If she's pissed, she's pissed either way. But if she says yes, you'll be hiding out under your cloak and you'll miss your big chance."

James hadn't though about that. She could still say yes. She would say yes. And he would go down to the Great Hall and be ready for her to fall into his arms when she realized that she was as in love with him as he was in love with her. It would work.

As Sirius steered James threw the halls, they could hear kids wondering aloud about the castles slight differences that day.

"Where are all the suits of armor?"

"Has anyone seen the ghosts yet today?"

"You know, I think some portraits are missing from these walls."

James could began to feel anxious again. How had Sirius convinced him to come down? He said Lily could still say yes. Yeah, right, and Peter was a death eater.

The boys walked threw the huge oak doors into the Great Hall. Sirius tried to direct James towards Remus and Peter, but he was practically cemented to the floor. He had spotted Lily. She was with the other seventh year Gryffindor girls, listening to people speculate about the missing aspects of the castle.

When the clock rang out, announcing it was half past noon, everyone was puzzled as to why their food didn't magically appear like every other day. Even Professor

McGonagall had a bemused look on her face.

James, on the other hand, was ecstatic. A wave of relief rushed through him. Maybe it fell through. Maybe they couldn't do it. Maybe he was safe, maybe –

At precisely twelve thirty-one and seventeen seconds, however, his hopes were once again dashed. With an echoing crack, the entire Great Hall filled with house elves, suits of armor, several paintings, and nearly all the ghosts in Hogwarts, many of whom were holding incredibly unoriginal signs:

LILY EVANS: THE FUTURE MRS. POTTER

SAY YES TO JAMES

ACCOMPANY JAMES TO HOGSMEADE, OR REGRET IT TILL YOU'RE DEAD

JAMES AND LILY POTTER

JAMES EVANS?

Before anyone could comprehend what was going on, the paintings broke out into a rather obnoxious and uncharacteristic song directed at the Head Girl.

"Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you  
Girl, you can't conceal it  
We know how you feel and  
Who you're thinking of!

You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When you gonna own up  
That you got, got, got it bad!"

The hall erupted in laughter. Students and teachers alike found it completely hilarious. Everyone was amused by the show, even the Slytherins. Well, not everyone. One Head Girl was not amused. And one Head Boy was too terrified too laugh.

Sirius leaned over between chuckles and said, "Hey, look she's turning red. Maybe, she's just embarrassed. That's never too bad."

For a fleeting moment James believed him, but Sirius couldn't have been more wrong. When Lily she turned and spotted him, he saw the murderous look on her face.

Her face matched her hair, but she wasn't embarrassed. She wasn't even mad, she was passed mad. She began to make her way toward James, and he did the only thing he could think to do. He ran.

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Soooo... what do you think? This is my first story that I think is decent enough to post, so I welcome criticism, but be gentle. Is that contradictory?

Also there is a part 2, but I'm kind of known to abandon projects without proper encouragement, so PLEASE REVIEW! I will love you forever. Not physically, because I feel like if more than a few people review than that would come off a little slutty, but the emotional kind of love. Okay, so, yeah. Review. Please.

XO Charity Errs


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this. *Sigh*

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"Okay, in retrospect, it was probably a bad idea."

James glared at Sirius, who was failing miserably at comforting him in their dorm.

"Really, Padfoot? You think?"

He couldn't blame Sirius though, Lily was never one for public displays of affection, and the Great Hall is as public as it gets at Hogwarts. James knew this and he still went along with the idea.

"Well, there's no need to be so snarky. You're not the one who had to deal with our lovely Head Girl after the incident."

That was true. While Sirius went about things normally after lunch, James hid out in his dormitory all day. The teachers couldn't expect him to show up in class after that disaster! So instead, James spent five hours fretting over his looming attempt at an apology.

"You might as well get it over with."

James gave him an incredulous look.

"Why would I do that? I think I should just lie low, you know, let her cool off for a while. Maybe a couple days."

"Right, because that has always worked before."

He threw his pillow at Sirius, and took a deep breath. Regardless of how much he wanted to hide out until graduation, James knew that it would be better to apologize sooner rather than later.

He lifted himself of his bed and checked his appearance in a mirror. There was nothing he could do to fix himself up before seeing her. No matter what he did his shirt would stay wrinkled, his glasses would stay crooked, and his hair would not lay flat. Although he knew it was a lost cause, he tried once more to squash the wild hair down. It sprung back up into the unruly mess it always was – the way Lily hated. It was as good as he could get it. He turned and headed toward the door.

"Alright fine, wish me luck."

"I'll pray for you, mate."

He exited and descended the stairs slowly.

James took pride in his knowledge of Lily's emotions. It had taken James all of five minutes to figure out how to bother her. In two short years he learned how to upset her. By forth year he inadvertently discovered how to royally piss her off. But in all his years studying her, memorizing her every feature, he never learned how to get her to forgive him. It was the reason their relationship was so difficult. And now, after regressing into his old habits and losing all the ground he had gained this year, James _really_ needed her to forgive him.

He would have to beg. Begging was a given. And grovel, groveling would help. Maybe if he got down on his knees? No. That would give her flashbacks to his countless marriage proposals, and he didn't need her thinking of those at a time like this.

As he descended down the spiral staircase, contemplating how to apologize, he was awakened from his thoughts by the angelic sound of his true love's voice.

"It's not just the stupid Great Hall stunt. He's been acting like a complete arse all year! First being all perfect, then after finding out that I actually do have feelings for him, utterly ignoring me for days! And if that wasn't enough, he makes me look like a total fool by announcing to the whole school that, yeah, I do fancy him!"

Wait. Lily really does fancy someone? Damn it! That stupid git she was gushing about before. What the bloody hell does she see in him? It sounds like he's a stupid prick, who doesn't even deserve her. Toying with her emotions like that. If _James_ ever found out that Lily liked him he wouldn't ignore her. And then telling the whole school like she said, that's just cruel.

"But, you have to admit," Alice began cautiously, "it was some pretty impressive magic earlier. I mean, moving all those portraits and the armor, and then charming them to sing to you. If you didn't hate him– I mean, if we didn't totally hate him, it would have been really brilliant. And, maybe he didn't mean for it to be as awful as it seems. Maybe, he thought you would like it. Remember when you said you liked Slughorn's cauldron that was made out of a fire-crab's shell, so he put a live fire-crab in our dorm?"

Hey! That was an excellent gift!

Wait...

James gave Lily a fire-crab. James moved the portraits and armor, and charmed them to sing to her. Oh, Merlin. _Stupid Great Hall stunt._ They were talking about him.

Lily was talking about him. Did Lily talk about him often? Not the point. She was talking about him. She said she had feelings for him. Feelings. Good feelings, bad feelings? Probably bad. No! She had said she fancies him! Alice said they both hated him... There's a thin line between love and hate.

What does that even mean? Does it mean Lily loves him? It does now.

Wait. Hadn't they said that he knew Lily loved him? James didn't know that! Sure, he had hoped, wished, dreamed she did, but James never knew.

"But, if he did still like me, wouldn't he have just said so when he walked in on us talking about him. He just walked right by! And we had rounds that night and he didn't say one word."

Oh. The git. He was the git.

Hey, she did talk about him often!

"Yes, but James has never been very good at just talking to you. He always makes himself look much worse than before."

Not always.

"I suppose. But then announcing it in the Great Hall? Honestly, it's like he doesn't know me at all."

It was supposed to be romantic! Like a grand gesture sort of thing. Any other girl in the school would have loved it.

"Yeah, I don't know anyone who would like to have a guy ambush them like that."

Okay, maybe not every girl.

"But, did you see his face, he was absolutely terrified. I heard him talking to Sirius in class right before, I think he was trying to stop it, he's so scared of you. Such a coward."

A coward? James was not a coward. And no, he was not terrified! He was just realizing that, maybe, it was not the best plan of action, and he was reevaluating his options. James wasn't scared of Lily. Well, okay, sometimes, but not always. Earlier today he was, but now he most certainly was not. The fear sort of comes and goes.

"He should be scared. I'm so angry right now. If I saw him, I would castrate him."

The fear was back.

"Lily, don't be too hard on him. This is James, we're talking about. You know he's an absolute idiot when it comes to you."

"Am not!"

Shit. He said that out loud.

There was silence coming from the common room. Maybe, they hadn't heard him. Yeah, he hadn't spoken very loudly, they probably didn't hear him.

"James?"

Okay, they heard him. He should go apologize. He could still run. No, that would not be good. But she said she was going to castrate him! That would really hurt. She wouldn't do it, then she'd never have any kids. They could always adopt...

What was he going to do?

He didn't get a chance to decide, because at that moment the lovely Lily Evans appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She was glaring. Merlin, she looked gorgeous when she wanted to kill him.

"I'll just leave you two alone then," Alice headed around James to the girls dormitories.

Okay, what had he rehearsed? Oh no. He couldn't remember. He spent five hours preparing an apology and he didn't remember it! This was bad, very bad. Stupid Sirius! It was all his fault. Him and his bad idea.

James needed to do something. He couldn't just stand there. Do something! So, he smiled at her, it couldn't hurt, right? She reached for her wand.

Oh shit. It did hurt. It hurt a lot. She was getting her wand. She was going to castrate him. Castrate him with magic. This could not be happening.

"I'm so sorry, Lily!"

He was on the ground and, his arms were wrapped around her legs.

"I didn't mean to! It was Sirius, he came up with this stupid plan! I thought it was a bad idea. I _told_ him it was a bad idea, but he wouldn't listen! I tried to stop it, I swear! Please, don't castrate me, I like being a man! Don't you ever want kids? I do! Do you like the name Harry? And I didn't mean it! I swear! I'm sorry!"

And now he was rambling incoherently. This was not working out the way he planned. Perhaps, he should've practiced more before going to find her.

"James," she tried to get his attention.

"I didn't mean it, think of Harry, I didn't mean it..." he murmured over and over into her skirt.

"James, let go of me."

She didn't sound violent angry, she sounded passive aggressive angry. Like she did the one time in sixth year when he tried passing notes with her during Transfiguration – he had written a poem for her – and Professor McGonagall made her read it aloud to the whole class. She stood up and read it like a good student, but when she spoke she had zero emotion in her voice. It was kind of scary, and James didn't like it. Sort of like the calm before the storm. Cool and collected, then she would lash out and kill him! James much preferred the yelling and screaming Lily.

"James, now."

"Right, sorry."

He stood up and backed away from her quickly, keeping his eyes on her wand hand at all times. She smoothed her skirt and ran her fingers through her hair. It was beautiful hair, the only thing more beautiful was hearing her read the words he had written about it to their entire Transfiguration class.

He stared at her for a moment. He had no idea what to say, and apparently anything he did would just make it worse. Okay, maybe if he just acted like it was a normal conversation. He's had normal conversations with her before. Sort of.

"So, how was your day?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. A normal conversation probably wasn't going to work in this situation.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. She was obviously angry, but more than that, it seemed as if she was expecting something from him. He stared at her, trying to understand what she wanted him to say. He honestly didn't know. He took a deep breath, and concentrated on remembering what he had practiced all day.

"Lily, I was so wrong. I know I totally crossed the line, there's no excuse for what I did. I'm really, really sorry."

Lily sighed, a sort of desperate, pathetic sigh, "Is that all James?"

James was frozen, he didn't know what else there was to say. She still expected something from him, and he didn't know what. She slid past him into the stairwell.

She was leaving, and he could feel his dreams slipping through his fingers. He was losing his last chance at fixing things between them. He couldn't let that happen.

"Lily!" He turned and caught her hand before she could make her way up the stairs.

James spun her around to meet him. Her hands met his chest and her nose brushed against his.

"Umm... yes, James?" She was breathless, but she wasn't pulling away.

He tried to think, but she was too close. They had never been this close before. His head was spinning and he couldn't breath. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest. Or was that her heart?

"I... I just – because you, I mean... umm...we should..." he stuttered incoherently.

She still hadn't pulled away.

Their lips brushed and he felt her gasp. Her eyelids fluttered, until they closed completely. James lost all conscious thought and closed the space between them.

It was perfect. His mind was swimming from the complete and utter thrill, the bliss – the ecstasy of her. James couldn't imagine anything in the entire world could ever feel better than kissing Lily Evans.

She pulled back slowly with a shy smile and played with the hair on the nape of his neck.

"So, um... you were saying?"

"I – I – uh... sorry?"

She glanced away bashfully, with a blush rising in her cheeks and a smile playing on her lips. She didn't push him away.

"Go to next Hogsmeade weekend with me," he barely whispered to her.

"Alright," she answered softly.

He stared at her in disbelief as she pulled away from him and turned to go up to her dormitory. She was out of site for only a moment before she returned with a laugh.

"Oh and James, you could've just asked. The whole grand gesture thing was a bad idea."

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And after years of anticipation it is concluded! Did anyone reading this actually read it when the first part was posted? If so, I'm so sorry... I'll snog you to make up for it if you find me. Review anyways please?


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